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Max "Clappy Bird" Moseley
Max "Clappy Bird" Moseley
After a season of some record breaking clap catches, culminating in him successfully sealing out 6 defenders, 3 passing spectators, a class of school children, and a pack of wild dogs, Max looks to the future.
When we caught up with Max, mid-road trip through the blue ridge mountains (pictured), he was keen to point out that his strongest asset was his ample rump. He went on to impress on us that his posterior is key to his success as a world leading clapper, eclipsing defenders with his vast derrière is the foundation that all clap-catches are build on.
In a world exclusive Max outlined his 4 goals for the year:
- Clap catch over a tree
- Clap catch above an eagle
- Clap catch atop the shard
- Clap catch over Fraser's ego
DK's guide to getting yourself tilted AF
A pilgrimage to Pisa - the holy land of tilt DK's guide to getting yourself tilted AF
At Dom's insistence this whole section is in italics.
"So first things first, nothing is too small to lose your shit about, in fact, the smaller the better. For example, turfing a disc, someone else turfing a disc, getting scored on, losing your water bottle, a travel call, only getting yellow skittles, and weather are all perfect triggers.
Often people who tilt easily are given a bad rep, and I believe that this is primarily because the tilt is often poorly executed by ill-informed amateurs.
As a guide, here are some handy tips for the perfect strop.
The three tilted pillars:
The three tilted pillars:
- Mouthing off - it is important to say something barely audible that is patently negative as this lets everyone nearby that you're truly pissed off
- Violent outbursts - lashing out at inanimate objects is key to a successful tilt, be sure to do this in view of any cameras if you are in a filmed game.
- Storming off - in case anyone hasn't noticed that you're on a first class train to tilted towers, going missing for extended periods during a game is an effective tactic for letting the whole squad know. "
Maz on a mission
Maz on a mission
Despite spending 6 months insisting he is retired, a man very few people have actually heard of, Alex Mazzon has been highly active on SMOG's new Facebook group, leaving a large number of new members bemused.
Alex Mazzon’s claim to fame is being the solemnest man to ever grace the skies, but more recently has taken to making cutting or humorous remarks on Facebook.
SMOG rookie, Natasha Lim has been quoted saying “Who the fuck is this Alex Mazzon and why is he relevant?” while Sam Higginbotham stated “I live in perpetual fear that a wise crack from Mazzon on one of my posts could result in me being cut from the team”
More veteran team members are well aware that Alex does not wield any power whatsoever and that he only exists to critique gin and provide food and washing up for Lucy.
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